IVF Kasih (Mini IVF) Part 2

 As we arrived in Ipoh, we met the embryologist who told us that all 3 eggs were able to be fertilized. 2 eggs continue to steadily grow while the 3^rd did not. The 2 little fertilized eggs were in good condition and ready to be transferred. I remember the embryologist explained about the grade and the development of the eggs, I just could not recall the exact word she said. I think she said one was in an excellent condition while the other was fairly good. At that point I was just happy to hear that we have 2 embryos and the transfer can be done that day.  

Long story short, the transfer was done. It was quick and painless but it was nerve wrecking to be in that position. The room was so cold because of the strong air condition. Dr Tham made me feel more relax. He even turned on the zikir and doa from youtube for me during the procedure. It reaaaallly made me feel more calm throughout the whole process. Hubsy was not allowed to go in to accompany me. Then I had to lay down for about 40 minutes. I wish I could had lay down longer but I really needed to pee. TTC who had gone through this process must know this that we needed to drink about a glass of water to ensure our bladder is half full during the process. Way harder than I thought it was going to be.

We stayed one night in Ipoh at the nearest boutique hotel and went back home the next day. I was mostly in the hotel room laying on the bed and making sure I took all the medicine and inserted the correct dosage of medicine into my vagina. Then come the 2 week wait. I filled up my days by watching the tv, eat, sleep then repeat. Of cos in between I pray and doa and hope that it will turned out the way we all hope it would be.

Come Saturday, the day we were supposed to go do our urine test, then the doctor called us in, she said that it looks here that you have a very (very, very) barely there faint line. From my angle I was convinced that it was negative, but if you looked really closely, there was something. Doctor said, it could either be that I am pregnant but the HCG was very low, sadly it could also mean that it was not a very strong implantation or implantation that is located outside of the womb. So we needed to go to Sunfert Bangsar to do blood test. I did not want to be all negative but deep down I just knew that this cycle was a buzz. I just had this feeling that if I was really pregnant than it would have not be all this completed that God will give me a crystal clear signed. The fact that we needed to go all through this just made me feel all emotional inside like I was going to cry buckets. But we hold back every emotion that we had in the doctor’s office and went to Sunfert anyway. Dr Norazlin said she will be going to the clinic shortly and will meet us there.

About 1.5 hours after I gave my blood sample, we got the result, it turned out that my HCG was about 15. She said that it was very low. However, it was also a sign that I was sort of pregnant. I needed to come back in 3 days’ time and re-do the blood test in the hopes that the HCG has double up. I went back home and read all these blog on other successful pregnancy that in the beginning had a very low HCG count to calm myself down and be more optimistic.

Sadly, on Wednesday, 3 days after the first blood test, the HCG count dropped and I was no longer pregnant. Was I even pregnant at all?! Anyway, doctor said that it was probably a chemical pregnancy. It was not properly implant the way it should be. Cried myself in the car and went straight to the office like nothing happened. At least I pretended like nothing happened. Few of my colleagues knew that I was going through the process but I did not feel like talking about it because then I would cry more. Then the next day, I got my period…..

That was the end of our journey… our 1^st attempt of mini IVF. We were devastated and sad but we also realized that there was nothing that we can do to reverse the outcome that was fated by Allah SWT no matter how bitter, sad or angry we might feel. There was no point being all depress and moody. We needed to move on. The faster the better. That was when we channeled our energy and focus on moving out to our new home. Something that we have been planning for more than a year. Moving plans was done at our own pace. There were no urgency to move so we took our time until we (I) was really ready.

We officially moved out on the 31.12.2017. Celebrated our new year there. My parents were there too for our first sleepover. It has been 3 nights, but I must say that we still feel so awkward. In fact, we could not sleep well the first night. Haha drama. But yeahh I love being at my parents. Hubsy felt the same way too because he too had lived there for more than 3 years. We had to leave our cat at my parents. We wanted to bring her over but because she is so used to the environment at my mom’s (like me) and I pity my parents too if we take away the cat that they have loved. She is also very clingy and will be so alone when we left her home alone while going to work. Only cat lovers will understand this. So yeah, we will see, who knows when we miss her so must that we might just one day catnap (kidnap) her J