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We cannot give up on hope

 I am now on my CD 5 (day 4 of chlomide). On 1/4 I took mc to go see my Rheumatologist. Did a blood test and ESR was at 51 :( The outcome of that visit resulted in my right knee being injected by low dose of steroid and doc remove some of the fluid around the knee area. I was feeling a bit better throughout the weekend after the procedure. The plan was to just hang in there until IUI procedure some time around 14-15 April.. if all is well and going according to plan. If God willing than I will have my very first BFP. Otherwise, welcome back Actemra for at least 2 rounds (May and June) then we will give IUI another go.

 I am not on any painkiller at the moment just relying on deep heat, some plaster, avoiding meat and dairy products and some other stuff. It does not bothers me that much as I don't really feel like eating. My jaw is also having RA symptoms. This is typically the point where I would be losing 3-4 kilos within 2-3 weeks. Great to prepare for excess weight if I get pregnant but not so much when you are already quite petite. I am currently at 47kg.

 Haaa the ups and downs of life.... 

 My mission now really is to have a baby. For me, DH and our families. But really is for my husband. He really wants one. His whole life is about having a little family of his own. Who doesn't right but I know he has slightly bigger hopes than me when it comes to a baby. He has been awesome and I cannot help but feel like I am largely to blame for our infertility.

 Right now, all I need is strength to get through this. But I cannot do it without my hubby. 

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